Thursday, January 19, 2012

Whoever said being a parent would be easy?

No one said being a parent would be easy. Also, few parents ever tell their children exactly how challenging parenting is lest they dissuade their own kids from having kids and what fun would that be. No one can prepare you. No book will have all the answers. And, no two parenting experiences are ever alike. Being a parent is one of the greatest miracles I could ever imagine participating in. It is also the hardest job I ever volunteered for . . . four times. I was in the U.S. Army briefly, that was way easier than this. My children are the greatest blessings I could ask for and the worst bosses I've ever worked for. I can't quit or be fired, my contract only has a God given end date and very little time off for good behavior. Everything they need is needed five minutes ago and all demands are life altering emergencies. Most contingency plans I've come up with don't even begin to cover all my children's wants, needs and desires. There are days I think parenthood is the biggest con ever pulled on humanity. We grow up being raised by our parents, believing that they know what they are doing. We then get old enough to have kids of our own, vigorously encouraged by our parents to do so, and we believe parenthood will all come naturally. We also have the false sense of confidence that we can figure it all out because we are way smarter than our parents and that we know how to be "cool" parents while doing a better job than they ever did. Meanwhile, as newly minted grandparents, our parents sit back laughing themselves silly while we scramble to keep up with the controlled chaos we call parenting.

On top of all this my wife and I are both full time reform rabbis trying to raise four kids with the assistance of my brother and mother who live next door.  Other than that we are your normal every day family trying to get by like everybody else. So welcome to the carnival that is my life. Hold on tight because the ride certainly gets rough at times.


  1. All I can say is that one of the biggest joys of parenthood is seeing your children struggle as parents. The nature of parenthood is constantly seeking the right answer for questions you are not sure you understand fully.

    One more thing, you children will never truly know how much you love them until they have kids of their own...

    Mazal Tov on the new blog.

  2. you children will never truly know how much you love them until they have kids of their own...

    I had this very same thought when I saw my parents with my oldest when he was very young. It was as though I had a window into how my parents were when they first became parents.

    Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging!!!!!

  3. So nice to hear from the Abba who goes with the Ima. Look forward to reading your posts!

  4. First off, welcome to the world of blogging!

    Secondly, your parenting description is spot on. My kids have provided me with some of the best and worst experiences of my life. Simple things like a trip to the grocery store can either turn out wonderfully (as my kids help me out) or horribly (as my kids flip out in public because they want a toy... never mind that Chanukah wasn't too long ago or that we don't give them a toy for going to the store with us!).

    All too often, I raise my voice at them and find myself sounding like my father. *shudder* He was (and is) a great dad, but like you said there are things you always think you'll do differently... until you get into that same situation!

  5. Welcome to the blogging world. I hope you'll also participate in Havel Havelim, JPIX and maybe even KCC

  6. Thanks for sharing your candid experiences as a parent. All of us who have been there share your mix of elation and confusion. My husband and I once took a class from our daughter's kindergarten teacher about coming up with "logical consequences." As in all of life, when it's not your kids, not your situation, it's so much easier to see the "easy" solution. But as Jimmy Dugan in "A League of Their Own" said, "It's supposed to be hard. . . The hard... is what makes it great.

    Our goal (at is to help make at least one part -- the Jewish celebrations part -- of a family's life easier.

    Good luck with your blog and raising your family! You're now amassing the wonderful stories that will become hysterically funny . . . down the road :)


I look forward to your comments!